Truth Or Dare with Eragon I
by Bob The Builder Of Stuff
Summary: After Eragon kills the king he has no more use! What happens when Arya, Orik, Angela, Nasuda, Murtagh, and others start a drunken game of truth or dare? Read for more! Now Completed! 200 reveiws for a sequel!
1. Chapter 1 Burning the Waiter

**Truth or dare with Eragon **

**Chapter one: burning the waiter**

**This chapter is rated T**

An slightly drunk Eragon chuckled as he Saphira plunged her head into a barrel of mead.

" Calm down Saphira! That's your fourth drink this night! your doing to drink Uru'Baen dry If you keep this up!"

_No I won't... the pointy ear queen gave me a unlimited supply of mead... and if I run out I will talk to the queen about the definition of the word "unlimited"..._

" Very well Saphira." Eragon sighed, " I just wish I had something to do... It's sooooo boring now that the wars over... it's like no one even needs me any more!"

"Yes..." Arya said appearing in the doorway, " It is very boring..."

Arya, Nasuda, Orik, Murtagh, and Angela filled into the tavern and sat down besides Eragon all looking very depressed.

" What brings you all down to a tavern?" Eragon asked chuckling, "Have we all gotten that desperate?"

All of them shot him evil glares that made him want to run away, so he shut up and hid in his shirt. They all stayed like that in a awkward silence until Orik coughed loudly and whispered  
"Awkward turtle..."

Everyone looked at him strangely until he said " What you don't believe in him? Durin will be turning in his grave!"

Angela seemed to be the only one to get the joke, and she burst into laughter. Eragon heard that laughter and peeped out of his shirt to see the damage. Nasuda and Murtagh were rubbing noses and making out in a corner, while Arya repeatedly thumped her head on the table making a hollow pounding noise. Angela was still laughing hysterically, and Orik was ordering large portions of a mead for all of them.

Eragon lifted his head out of his shirt and walked over to Arya. "Whats wrong Arya Svit-"

"DON"T!" She shouted, "I HATE IT WHEN YOU MAKE ME FELL GUILTY!"

Eragon screamed a childish scream and dove behind Saphira who was gulping down her seventh barrel of mead. Nasuda and Murtagh stopped making out in the corner, Angela stopped giggling, and the lone waiter that was bringing them their mead jumped three feet in the air and spilled alcohol all over himself.

" SHUT UP YOU STUPID ELF!" the waiter shouted.

" DON'T CALL ARYA STUPID!" Eragon yelled now jumping out from hiding, "Arya is a smart, talented, hot, greenie riding babe who is NOT STUPID!" He pulled out Brisinger, and charged at the man in a drunken fashion.

The waiter sensing his soon to come death started to cry. " Can this day get any worst!"

Just then Eragon tripped over a table and dropped Brisnger on Saphira's tail. Saphira pulled hear head out of her barrel of mead and blasted a twenty foot long wall of fire as she roared in pain.  
As a result, the alcohol on the waiter ignited, turning him into a human torch.

" I'M ON FIRE!" He shouted.

"Stop drop and role dude..." Murtagh said calmly.

"BUT I'M ON FIRE!"

Murtagh sighed and walked over to him in a very calm fashion. When he got there he watched for a moment, sighed in a depressed way and then shoved the burning waiter to the ground. Next the kicked the man so hard that the rolled all the way into the bar.

Everyone just stared at Murtagh in another awkward silence until Nasuda squealed " Murty that was sooooooooo brave! You can protect me from burning waiters all the time now!"

Arya sighed as they started to make out in the corner again, and started hitting her head on the table with amazing speed. Orik and Angela however got up and walked over to the flaming wreckage of the bar. The waiter was groaned, and Orik pulled him out of the bar and onto the floor out of harms way.

The severely burned waiter gasped, and opened his eyes. " Water..." He croaked " I need water..."

" I will get you some water you poor poor man..." Angela whispered. She magicked up some water and a cup and poured it down the mans throat.

" Tell my children that I-"

The man abruptly stopped as an arrow sprouted from his head. Orik and Angela turned around in terror to see Arya putting away her bow.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!" Angela shouted.

"He was going to die anyway... I just took him out of his misery... it's just like that time when I shot that dying grey falcon remember Eragon?"

Eragon was getting up from his fall, but was shocked to see overturned chairs and tables, a flaming bar, and a burned and shot waiter in Angela's arms.

" How long was I out?" Eragon asked gesturing to the scene before him.

" Only about two minuets... why? Angela said already forgetting about the dead man in her arms.

" Ohh... no reason... I guess were all just destructive and crazy people, so we can't help but kill and waiter, and burn down a bar right?" Eragon said angrily.

" Lets all go and sit down at the table like civilized people... I for one am ashamed of what I have done here..." Orik said solemnly.

" Not as ashamed as you were that one night when I found you with spying on Arya and Faolin in bed all those years ago..." Angela said dropping the dead man and walking to the table.

"YOU DID WHAT!" Arya shouted.

" WHAT DID IT LOOK LIKE?" Eragon shouted.

"AHHHHHHH!" shouted Orik as both Arya and Eragon tackled him.

"Calm down guys..." Murtagh said suddenly appearing out of nowhere, "violence solves nothing."

Murtagh grabbed both Arya and Eragon by the back of the shirt and shoved them into chairs next to each other. Arya tried to get back up and stab Orik, but Murtagh had a firm grip. When they were all calmed down Orik sat back down in his seat and poured everyone some mead from Saphira's stockpile. It was a miracle he was able to take the mead, but it was much easier now that she was passed out on the floor.

"How about we play an old dwarf game that helps break uncomfortable situations?" Orik asked everyone with a stupid grin slapped on his face.

" Sounds good to me" Nasuda said sitting down with Murtagh.

" Very well..." Orik said, " The game is call truth or dare..."

**AN: YAY MY VERY FIRST COMEDY FANFIC! I NEED FIVE REVIEWS FOR CHAPTER TWO PEEPS! TELL ME WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF IT ! I had some funny ideas to vent and this is the result! I wrote this entire chapter in half an hour, so expect fast update times!**


	2. Chapter 2 Stripping

**Truth or dare with Eragon **

**Chapter one: Stripping  
**

**This chapter is rated T for mild sexual content.  
**

" That seems like a great game..." Arya said with an evil grin at Orik. Orik felt invisible hands constricting his throat, as he realized he would have to use dare ever time in order to to avoid about that one night... He was going to have to add some extra rules to make easier on him.

" How do we play?" Eragon asked.

" The rules are quite simple really Orik said, " Someone asks you truth or dare, and you need to pick one of the two options. For example Arya could dare me to go jump off a cliff, and I would have to do as she said... OR I could remove a piece of clothing, and not jump off a cliff... Understand?"

" What about Truth?" Nasuda asked shooting a suspicious glare at Angela.

" If you pick truth, the other person would ask you to tell the truth about something... also before we start we must swear in the ancient language that we will tell the truth when asked to... or we can take off our clothing like said before."

" OK" Eragon said cheerily, "lets start!"

" Ummm I have to go do something at my tent first..." Arya said, " Just wait a few minuets please..." Arya said getting up and running out the door.

Angela stared counting down seconds while Murtagh started humming jeopardy music. They went on like that for several minuets, and just when Eragon was sure he would go insane Arya arrived.

She was wearing new clothes... lots of new clothes. In fact she was wearing 27 shirts, 15 leggings, 22 bras, and 7 under wares. Also she was wearing three giant winter coats. The effect was astounding. Arya looked HUGE. All the layers made her about one and a half feet wider on every side, and she could barley fit into the door. Her head was not even visible, but they could all see a small mound of hats where her head should have been.

" Arya is that you?" Murtagh asked in shock.

"mppmpphhhr" Arya screamed from somewhere inside.

" That's cheating you know!" Angela shouted, " You wore extra clothes so you could take them all off and skip your turns!"

" Ahhhhrgfhmmmm" came a muffled reply.

" Well... lets us begin then... but first lets strip the cheater!"

Everyone yelled in approval and started pulling the clothes off Arya. Orik and Nasuda pulled off several layers off pants, and Eragon had some perverted fantasies while pulling off the bra's.  
Murtagh watched in silence and disgust as Angela pulled off some under wares.

When they were all done Arya was gasping for air, and wearing the same clothes that she had been waring before.

" Thank goodness!" Arya shouted " I was suffocating in there!"

" You deserved it !" Angelea shouted back, " You were trying to cheat!"

" WOOOOO! LIVIN THE DREAM!" Eragon shouted as he tore off Arya's shirt. Instead of more clothing underneath however there was nothing but Arya's lacy bra. Eragon looked her over in shocked silence, but was then blown over by a super powered slap by Arya.

" HOW DARE YOU!" she shouted as she put he shirt back on.

" I DIDN'T KNOW!" Eragon yelled, " I just got carried away... please don't kill me your highness..."

"Your going to pay later..." Arya said with an evil grin, " Now lets start playing."

Everyone agreed, and started walking back to the table not giving Eragon a second chance.

Eragon groaned as he stood up, and looked up at the mountain of Arya's clothes. He picked up one of the bra's and held it up in the air just imagining what it would be like. Then he held it up to his nose and inhaled Arya's sent of pine needles. Just smelling it made his heart flutter.

" Ummmm Eragon what are you doing with my bra?" Arya asked.

" Ohhh nothing..." Eragon said, " I just get high off of you."

Then Arya did the thing that no one expected. She blushed. Everyone silently cursed their luck. they all wanted to see Arya kill Eragon... its what they were all waiting for. When Eragon finnaly sat down Orik started the game.

" Okay then, Nasuda truth or dare?"

" Dare!" She said said excitedly.

Orik smiled evilly and then stated his dare. " I dare you to kiss... Eragon!"

Nasuda's eyes bulged, and Eragon Nealy fell over in his seat. " What I can't do that!" She yelled.

" It's that or take off some clothing!" Orik stated smugly.

Nasuda shot Orik an evil glare and walked over to Eragon. Eragon tried to get up and run away but she tackled him with impressive speed. Soon her lips connected with his, and they were making out on the floor. Murtagh's face turned red, and it looked like his head was about to explode. Arya was also trying to look away, but then she snapped.

"GET OFF MY MAN!" Shouted Arya.

"GET OFF MY WOMEN!" Murtagh shouted.

Both Eragon and Nasuda stopped rolling on the floor and looked up at them sheepishly.

" Sorry Murty..." Nasuda said with a giggle, " I guess I just got carried away... your soooooo cute when your jealous!"

" Am I really your man!" Eragon asked excitedly.

"No." Arya said impassively, " I was just trying to get the game going again. "

Eragon felt tears in his eyes, and soon he was sobbing. He ran off and dove into the mountain of Arya's clothes. Arya looked guiltly for a while, but then looked away to find everyone at the table looking at her.

"That was so mean!" Angela shouted,

"Go say sorry to him!" Nasuda said.

" Never!" Arya said stubbornly.

" Very well then..." Nasuda said evilly, " I didn't want to do this, but now I think I have to... I dare you to kiss Eragon!"

**AN: YAY MY VERY FIRST COMEDY FANFIC! I NEED FIVE REVIEWS FOR CHAPTER TWO PEEPS! TELL ME WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF IT ! I had some funny ideas to vent and this is the result! I wrote this entire chapter in half an hour, so expect fast update times! TELL ME HOW YOU LIKED IT PLEASE! tell me what jokes and puns you liked! i am open for suggestions, so if you ask me to do something i will!  
**


	3. Chapter 3 the kiss

**Truth or dare with Eragon **

**Chapter three: The kiss  
**

**This chapter is rated T for mild sexual content.**

"What did you say?" Arya asked in a deadly quite tone.

" I dared you to kiss Eragon!" Nasuda said unaware of how close she was to sudden death, "And if you try to hurt me Murty will keep me safe! right Murtagh?"

"Ummmmm... I think I'm going to sit this one out... for my own good... burning waiters is one thing, but an enraged Arya is something else completely..." Murtagh said sounding ashamed.

"Murtagh how could you?" Nasuda cried, " I'm going to get killed without your protecting me!"

"Im sorry Nassy, but if i do that then we will both be killed... "

"He's right you know!" Arya said gloomily, " But now I must go carry my dare..."

Arya stood up took a long drink from her tankard of mead, and then left table a little to enthusiastically, and dove into the clothing pile after Eragon. Everyone listened and watched intently as moaning and kissing noises came from the pile. Soon it started to rock back and forth until it toppled over and exposed them.

Arya had all her clothing still on, but Eragon had removed his shirt. They both had their eyes closed, and Arya was moaning as Eragon stuck a hand up her shirt, and kissed her. There legs were tangled together, and Arya had her arms around his waist.

"WOOOOOOO!" hooted Murtagh, " Go get a room!"

Eragon opened his eyes after that, and they widened in shock as he saw that he was exposed.  
He desperately tried to get Arya off of him, But Arya just whimpered and attached herself tighter to his body. Arya finally got off when Eragon whispered in her ear. Her eyes opened with shock like his, and she looked more embarrassed then anyone had ever seen her. Arya quickly looked away, and removed herself from Eragon. Eragon looked at her with concern as she ran into a corner, but decided to put on his shirt first.

When he was done he came back to the table. " Who's turn is it?" he asked quietly.

No one answered, but instead they all burst off into another fit of laughter.

"That was the funniest thing I've ever seen!" Orik said as he wiped tears from his eyes.

"Aye me too!" Murtagh said.

" Stop laughing at us!" Eragon said covering his face, " Your making Arya more embarrassed!"

"THAT'S THE POINT!" Giggled Angela, " it's so funny!"

Eragon groaned and got up from the table. He walked over to the corner where Arya was hiding.

"What is wrong Arya?" He asked.

" I kissed you Eragon!" Arya sobbed, " I was dared to kiss you, but I ended up doing even more!"

"It's Ok Arya..." Eragon whispered, "you could say that it was my fault."

" But it isn't you fault! I love you Eragon, but just minuets ago I said that I didn't!"

Eragon sighed as he tried to work up the courage to ask her something. " How about you dare them to do something even more embarrasing for revenge? I know you love your revenge."

Arya smiled a ghost of a smile, but then lept up into Eragon's arms so that he could carry her.

"Take me away you handsome elf boy!" She said.

Eragon smiled widely, and carried her back to the table carrying Arya bridal style. When Eragon was done helping Arya sit down he met the shocked stares of everyone else.

"She accepted YOU?" Orik said in wonder.

" Yes she did!" Eragon replied matter of flatly.

"Lets not get carried away boys..." Arya said mischievously, "Orik is just jealous!"

Orik's face grew red, and he quickly looked away.

"Now I do believe it is my turn." Arya said looking evilly at Orik, "Truth or Dare Orik?"

"I choose dare!"

Arya smiled knowingly before whispering something in Angela's ear. Angela's face turned red, and she then whispered back into Arya's ear.

"Stop gossiping ladies!" Orik shouted, " I want to here my dare!"

"Your dare is..." Began Arya.

"What is it!"

"I dare Orik to do the Jig for five minuets... ON TOP OF SAPHIRA!"

"WHAT!" shouted both Orik and Eragon.

"I'm afraid of heights or dragons and you know it!" Orik whispered sounding on the verge of tears.

"And why does it have to be Saphira?" Eragon asked, " Why not Eridor or Thorn?"

"Well, I have a bone to pick with Orik, and Erdior would kill me if I made Orik dance on his head, and Murtagh would TRY to kill me if I bullied Thorn again." Arya answered Cooley.

"Yeah! Shouted Murtagh, "Stop picking on Thorn! He may look tough, but he's sensitive!"

_What are all of you talking about?_ Saphira said suddenly awakening.

_Yes what are all of you talking about?_ Eridor asked apearing in the doorway..

"We are playing a game called truth or dare!" Eragon explained.

_Can we play?_

" Sure you can! but first you must go fetch Thorn, I'm afraid of what will happen to him if we leave him alone... probably cause another flaming villager riot again..." Eragon said shuddering at the thought.

Very well... We will go fetch the red one... Eridor said flying off into the sky.

"Things are always more interesting when dragons are around don't you agree?" Angela crackled."

They all agreed except for Orik who was sweating profusely in his chair, and drinking  
mead.

"Orik I suggest you stop drinking..." Nasuda advised, " You don't want to be drunk on top of Saphira do you? her spikes could kill you if you slipped!"

"Wellas lettts sees nows..." Orik replied drunkenly, "I thinks I likes alls ma meeds clooked right!"

"He's going to die." Nasuda said sadly, "He's already to drunk."

They all looked at Orik sadly silently agreeing. Orik however did not notice in his drunken state, and he continued to gamble on about dwarven princesses. He stopped however when two dragons crashed into the room through the ceiling.

I_ got the red one! Eridor said proudly, I found him playing burning villager toss outside the city! I got there just before the angry mob! You should have seen it! He beat the ultimate high score!_

" Thorn what did i tell you about playing with burning villagers!" Murtagh asked angrily.

_not to... _Answered Thorn.

"Good" answered Murtagh, " I know you enjoy burning and killing peasants to vent your anger, but its not a nice thing to do! did you hear me?"

_Yes I did... but it seems that you broke your own rule, because I see a burnt waiter lying right there!_

"That was Saphira's fault, and I will have you know it was an accident." Murtagh said.

_Enough with the chit chat Saphira said interrupting the conversation, I want to play truth or dare!_

"Very well..." Eragon said, " This is how you play..."

**AN: YAY MY VERY FIRST COMEDY FANFIC! I NEED FIVE REVIEWS FOR CHAPTER TWO PEEPS! TELL ME WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF IT ! I had some funny ideas to vent and this is the result! I wrote this entire chapter in half an hour, so expect fast update times! TELL ME HOW YOU LIKED IT PLEASE! tell me what jokes and puns you liked! i am open for suggestions, so if you ask me to do something i will!  
**


	4. Chapter 4 Lady blah blah

**Truth or dare with Eragon **

**Chapter four: Lady blah Blah  
**

**This chapter is rated T for mild sexual content.**

When Eragon was done explain the rules to the giant red, blue and green dragons, Orik was hopelessly drunk. He had lost the ability to see strait, and his eyes were crossed.

"Okay Orik your up! go and complete your dare!" Arya said.

"Meble svit-kahona bling in thing!" Orik slurred.

"He needs help boys..." Arya said evilly, "Go and help Orik on top of Saphira."

_Why is Orik going to be on me?_ Saphira asked Arya.

_I dared him to dance the jig on your back for five minuets strait on your back..._ Arya explained.

_That sounds good to me, I need a good back massage... I have the worst back ache right now._  
Saphira rumbled.

_Good, just try not to kill him ok?_

_Very well point ear._

Eragon and Murtagh grabbed Orik after saphira agreed. They helped hold him up while Angela got a ladder. Angela leaned it up against Saphira, while Eragon posed to show off his muscles to Arya.

"Help me Eragon!" Murtagh yelled, "This dwarf weighs a ton!"

Eragon sighed, posed one more time, and then lifted Orik onto his back like a sack of bricks. He steadily climbed up the ladder, and then deposited Orik on top.

"Alright Orik your on top of Saphira now go do your thing!" Arya instructed.

"I musts does thems Jiggles?" Orik asked leaning on a spike.

"Do the JIG Orik do the JIG it was your dare remember?" Arya said.

"Imma be needen the musicals to dance..." Orik slurred again.

"Leave the music to me Orik!" shouted Angela, "I'll go call over my sisters band!"

"You have a sister?" Nasuda asked.

"Well of course! have you ever heard of Lady blah blah?" Angela asked in return.

"OMG I'M A HUGE FAN OF LADY BLAH BLAH!" Nasuda squealed in a very fan girl way, and tore open her shirt leaving a lady blah blah t-shirt underneath. "BRING ME THE BLAH BLAH!"

"Good! I'm going to call her over now! Wait a minuet for me to get her!" Angela called disappearing in a cloud of smoke.

"Well we all know what this means right!" Murtagh said grinning stupidly, "Jepordy music!'

"NOOOO not again!" Yelled Eragon, but he was to late. Murtagh started humming the music while Eridor and Thorn provided deeper bass notes. Eragon screamed as he slowly started to melt. "Stop it I'm allergic to jeopardy music! it's so boring!"

"Stop It you guys your killing my man!" Yelled Arya. She was about to shoot Murtagh through the head when Angela reappeared with a creepy lady that looked futuristic and strange.

"Hit it lady blah blah!" Nasuda screamed.

Lady blah blah smiled at her and started singing into a small black stick with a ball on the end. Somehow her voice became magically amplified, and soon she was singing her all new smash hit 'Poke her face'.

While she sang, everyone else gathered in a circle around Arya and started poking her face along with the song. Arya would have stopped them, but she was to busy looking at Orik dancing on top of Saphira. He was doing the worm one minuet and then doing the robot next. Soon he was breaking down and doing the entire evolution of dance. Murtagh and Eragon hooted and cheered him on, but all three of the women were shocked silent at his drunken dancing skills. Saphria softly hummed along to the music while enjoying her back massage.

When Lady Blah Blah was finished with her song, Nasuda begged for an encore. "DO IT AGAIN PLEASE!" she begged.

However, lady blah blah had other plans, so she spontaneously combusted away back to her studio. After this, Nasuda ran into a corner, got a pen and paper, and started writing hate mail in between sobs.

"Calm down Nasuda..." Murtagh reassured her, "Lady blah blah is a busy person, I'm sure she didn't mean to offend you..."

"But she did offend me!" Nasuda sobbed, "AND NOW I WILL GET MY REVENGE!"

"Are you ok?" Murtagh asked.

Nasuda said nothing, instead she marched out the door. Murtagh was just about to start the jeopardy music again when Arya started screaming.

"YOU CAN STOP POKING MY FACE NOW, THE SONG IS OVER!" She yelled.

"Ohh sorry..." Eragon said sounding ashamed, "I'll go help Orik down now..."

Eragon wordlessly put the ladder back on Saphira and let Orik climb back down.

"I thought you were drunk!" Eragon exclaimed, "How did you do that amazing dancing?"

"Us dwarfs are very good dancers Eragon! why I'm not even considered an armature yet!" Orik said happily.

"Can you teach me?" Eragon asked with wide eyes, "I need to learn from the master!"

"Very well Eragon perhaps another time, but for now we have a game to play right! Everybody back to the table it's my turn!"

At that moment Nasuda entered the room once more. "Where have you been?" Murtagh asked suspiciously.

"I gave the Varden's men orders to search for lady blah blah! I'm using all of our resources on, it SHE SHALL NOT ESCAPE!"

"You sound like George Bush!" Angela said, "You won't find my sister here, she lives in another world and time!"

"Ohh..." Nasuda said, " Who's George bush?"

"Never mind about that, sit down it's time to play!"

Nasuda sighed once more, but then did what Angela said and sat down.

"I do believe it's my turn now." Orik said evilly, "and I know just who to pick!"

**AN: YAY MY VERY FIRST COMEDY FANFIC! I NEED FIVE REVIEWS FOR CHAPTER TWO PEEPS! TELL ME WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF IT ! I had some funny ideas to vent and this is the result! I wrote this entire chapter in half an hour, so expect fast update times! TELL ME HOW YOU LIKED IT PLEASE! tell me what jokes and puns you liked! i am open for suggestions, so if you ask me to do something i will!**


	5. Chapter 5 Fight for your women

**Truth or dare with Eragon **

**Chapter five: Fight for you women.  
**

**This chapter is rated T for mild sexual content.**

"I pick Angela ! truth or dare?" Orik asked.

"I suppose I pick truth!" the herbalist crackled.

"Very well! now tell me... have you ever had perverted dreams about Murtagh?" Orik asked.

"Well... No... Kind of... YES!" She coughed out.

Everyone at the table burst out into laughter, and Angela's face turned redder than a tomato.

"It's not my fault!" She yelled over the laughter, " I can't help my dreams!"

At this everyone laughed all the harder. Arya laughed in musical tones, while Orik and the dragons laughed deep booming laughs. Nasuda was wiping tears from her eyes's and murtagh was suffocating on the floor and banging his fists on the floor.

When everyone was finally calmed down Angela shot Orik a murderous glare, but then turned on Arya.

"Arya truth or dare?" Angela questioned.

"I choose dare!" Arya replied.

Angela's smile widened more and more, and her eyes became colder and colder.  
"Can you guess what I'm about to dare you to do Arya?" She asked evily.

"I have some Ideas, but I'm not giving them to you..." Arya said suspicously.

"Well then Arya, I dare you to ACT OUT the perverted dream that I caught you dreaming about last month at the pond!"

Arya's eyes widened in horror, and she looked on the verge of tears. " I would never do something like that in real life! It's to degrading! And Eragon and Murtagh aren't even that old yet!" She wined.

"What does this have to do with me?" Murtagh asked suspiciously, "Don't tell me it was a threeso-"

"NOOOO IT WASN"T!" Arya yelled now bursting into tears.

"Arya calm down..." Eragon said soothingly while patting her back gently, " You can just remove your clothes..."

"That sound like a great Idea!" Arya said now happy.

"It sounds good to me!" Murtagh said suggestively flicking up his eyebrows, "That must have been some dream huh! I bet that you wer-"

Murtagh stopped ubruply as Nasuda and Arya slapped him. Two white marks in the shapes of hands were on his cheeks. Murtagh's mouth was open in shock, but he rest of the table was in a fit of laughter.

Arya made use of the distraction to quickly remove her shirt, and throw it on the clothing pile. However the second it hit the floor all the men stopped laughing and stared at her hungrily.  
Arya blushed profusely and ducked under the table.

"Nice bra Arya!" Murtagh hooted. Everyone laughed again as Nasuda slapped him again, but soon everyone came back to their senses and waited for Arya to chose her victim.

"Arya it's your turn!" Eragon yelled under the table.

Arya timidly peeked over the edge of the table, but stayed hidden so that her body could not be seen.

"I truth or dare Eragon?" She asked.

" I choose dare!" He replied to her.

"I dare you to be my human shield!" Arya said in a whisper.

Everyone laughed as Arya blushed, and as Eragon moved himself in front of Ayra. Arya sat down in the back of her chair, and Eragon sat in between her legs effectively blocking her from view.

"I believe it's my turn now?" Eragon asked awkwardly.

yes is is...Saphira stated.

"Good, in that case I choose Thorn! Truth or dare?" He said evilly.

_Dare I suppose... _Thorn said timidly.

"I Dare Thorn to admit that he loves Saphria!" Eragon said giving a wink to Saphira.

_BUT I DON'T!_ Thorn thundered.

Saphira looked at Thorn as if she was hurt, and slithered off into a corner hiding her head in shame. Right before she hid her head however she gave Eragon a quick wink letting him know that the plan was working.

"Thorn look at what you've done! you made your only chance at love cry!" Eragon said pretending to be angry. "Go tell her the truth!"

Thorn growled at him, but then awkwardly walked over to Saphira.

_Saphira I love you..._ Thorn said quickly.

Saphria didn't move, and Eridor growled at Thorn.

"Thorn you better try harder then that! hurry up I think Eridor's about to beat you to it!"

_No I shall not say it again._ Thorn stated stubbornly,_ besides I could take down the green runt any day!_

Eridor growled at Thorn angrily, and they both started circling each other slowly. Thorn However sent them his dare mentally.

_I choose Murtagh as my victim! He will choose dare because he is a fool, and I dare him to kiss the green ones rider!_

Murtagh smiled as he heard the last part, and he shrugged his shoulders. "It's the dragons fault, don't blame me!" He said stupidly.

Murtagh got up from his seat avoiding the murderous glares that Nasuda was giving him, and knocked Eragon off the chair exposing Arya. Eragon hit the floor, and Murtagh slowly started leaning his face over to Arya's.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Yelled Eragon in slow motion but it was to late.

Murtagh's lips crashed with Arya's, and all hell broke lose. Eridor and Thorn jumped at each other fighting over Saphira. Eragon tackled Murtagh and punched him in the face fighting for Arya. Nasuda and Arya started a slap fight over their men, and Angela and Orik started throwing things at each other just for fun.

While all the fighting took place Saphira came out of her corner to watch he two possible mates fight it out over her. Thorn was pinning Eridor to the ground, But Eridor was attacking with strong slaps of his tail.

Saphira allowed herself a inward smile as she surveyed the fighting.

_I feel so special..._ She thought.

_**AN: YAY MY VERY FIRST COMEDY FANFIC! I NEED FIVE REVIEWS FOR CHAPTER six PEEPS! TELL ME WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF IT ! I had some funny ideas to vent and this is the result! I wrote this entire chapter in half an hour, so expect fast update times! TELL ME HOW YOU LIKED IT PLEASE! tell me what jokes and puns you liked! i am open for suggestions, so if you ask me to do something i will! Sorry about the spellling or grammer mistakes guys, but its perfect writing or long update times... you choose.**_

**_PS: whoever "X" is... GO TO HELL!_  
**


	6. Chapter 6 The fight

**Truth or dare with Eragon **

**Chapter Six: Motherly love  
**

**This chapter is rated T for mild sexual content.**

Three hours later the battle still raged on. Eragon and Murtagh were engaged in a sword fight, Arya and Nasuda were slapping each other mercilessly on top of the clothing pile, and Eridor and Thorn were still locked in battle over Spahira. Angela and Orik had gotten tired of throwing things, so they set up an outpost on the roof and sport casted over the fights.

Many onlookers from the city had heard the fight raging inside the tavern, and now a entire crowd had formed outside peering in from windows and doors. Many of the men stared at Arya's exposed chest with lustful gazes, but most of the people were to afraid of getting killed by her, so they pretended not to care.

"The crowd goes wild as Arya lands another slap on Nasuda!" Orik exclaimed from the sports casting booth.

"Indeed this has turned out to be a splendid fight!" Angela said in a upbeat tone, " I would have never expected this!"

The crowd gasped and cheered as the dragons, elves, and humans continued to fight. Even the newly crowned king Roran and Queen Katrina were in the crowd.

"Whats this?" Orik exclaimed, " Eridor has thorn trapped in a head lock!"

"And over here!" Angela shouted pointing at Murtagh, " Murtagh is using jeopardy music as a physiological weapon against Eragon! That's foul play! everyone knows that he's allergic to it!"

The crowd booed at Murtagh, and he momentarily stopped to curse them out. That was his fatal mistake. Eragon took advantage of the distraction. He rapidly kicked Murtagh in the head, and then moved his blade down to his neck.

All the crowd went silent as Eragon yelled in triumph. "YEAH! WOOOOO! LIVIN THE DREAM!" he shouted. The stunned silence soon turned to awkward silence after that, and Eragon could feel his ears going red. Even the dragons and women had stopped fighting. The silence ramained until Eragon told the crowd to go away.

Eragon looked at the crowd and shouted, " You can leave now! the fights over! move along!"

The crowd groaned, but slowly filed away leaving them alone in the tavern again. Eragon walked over to Arya, and shouted up to her.

"Arya my dear! you can stop fighting now! I beat up Mutagh! arn't you proud of me?"

"I'm very proud of you Eragon!' Arya shouted as she jumped into his arms.

Nasuda and Murtagh hugged each other and started sobbing for there miserable defeats.

"It's Ok guys..." Eragon said trying to be helpful, "It's not like you lost something..."

"I lost something Eragon!" Nasuda sobbed, " I lost my respect and self dignity, and I lost Lady blah blah!"

"It's Ok Nasuda..." Angela called while climbing down from her perch, "I can call lady Blah Blah back if you want... Just please stop crying!"

Nasuda instantly perked up after that, but Mutagh kept sobbing.

"Murtagh please stop crying Nasuda said, " You embarrassing me!"

"I'm not crying! these are manly tears of pain!" Murtagh said sounding offended. Nasuda pace palmed, and sat down in her seat around the table. Eragon and Arya meanwhile went over to check on the dragons.

Eridor and Thorn were starting to fight again with another stare down, but luckily Arya stopped them just in time.

"Boys!" Arya called, " Stop fighting this instant! I'm giving you both five seconds to stop!"

Both dragons ignored her, so she started to count.

"One!...Two!... Three!... Four!... Four and a half... Fiv-"

Before Arya could continue counting both dragons lowered their heads in shame, and backed away to their riders.

Eragon stood watching with his mouth hanging open in shock. "How did you do that?" he asked.

"Do what?" Arya asked smiling at him.

"How did you just stop two angry giant dragons from killing each other!" He replied.

'You just need to be more assertive Eragon... they would have killed each other over there, so I told them to stop... it's very simple."

Eragon just looked at her in shock for a while, until he closed his mouth and put his hand on his chin in a classic thinking pose. He stood like that for a long time until Arya finally asked him what he was thinking about.

"Eragon what are you thinking about?" Arya asked in a annoyed tone.

"I'm thinking..."

"What are you thinking?" Arya demanded.

"I'm thinking that your going to be an amazing mother." Eragon said looking ashamed.

Arya giggled at him, and hugged him from behind. "I think you would be a great father Eragon... now all we need are the children..." She said michivously.

Eragon smiled and started carrying her away, until he was stopped by Orik.

"Hey Eragon where do you think your going?" The dwarf demanded.

"Well... I... was just..." Eragon stuttered.

"Your not going anywhere Eragon!" Orik shouted, "We still have a game to finish up here, and you are still waaaay to young to be carrying a half naked elf women to a bed!"

Eragon and Arya both blushed heavily, and headed back to the the table. When everyone was seated once again the game began.

"Truth or dare Angela?" Mutagh asked mischievously.

'Truth!" Angela said.

Murtagh frowned at her, but delivered his question nonetheless. "How old are you Angela?"

Angela visibly flinched, and she squinted her eyes. "That is nobodies business!" Angelea said as she removed her shoes and socks.

Arya looked at her in shock and wonder. " Why didn't i think of that!" She said.

"You just didn't think like a crazy person does Arya! just think outside the box and you will find that there are many solutions to problems like these!" Angela said happily.

"if that's the case..." Arya said, "Then I need you to dare me."

Angela smiled at her, and then said the sacred words. "Arya truth or dare?"

"Truth please" Arya said winking at her.

"Do you really love Eragon?" Angela asked.

"Of coarse I do!" Arya said smiling.

"Then I believe it's my turn..." Arya said.

"That's cheating! Mutagh said. " You let her go free on purpose!"

"It doesn't matter Murtagh" Angela replied coolly, " We broke no rules!'

Murtagh gave Angela a evil glare, but allowed the game to continue. Arya smiled at him smugly, and then looked at Eragon.

"Truth or dare eragon?" She asked sweetly.

"I choose dare..." He said suspiciously.

Arya smiled at him, and carefully placed a kiss on his cheek. "I dare you to give me your shirt." she said smiling widely.

Eragon frowned at her, but then removed his shirt giving it to her. Arya thanked him quietly and slipped the shirt on to cover her chest.

"That was good thinking Arya!" Angela said giving her a wink, "I wish I had thought of that!"

Arya smiled at her, and nodded her head in thanks.

"I believe it's my turn now... " Eragon said looking at Saphira, " Get ready everyone, this could get messy..." he said.

_**AN: YAY MY VERY FIRST COMEDY FANFIC! I NEED 10 REVIEWS FOR CHAPTER seven PEEPS! TELL ME WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF IT ! I had some funny ideas to vent and this is the result! I wrote this entire chapter in half an hour, so expect fast update times! TELL ME HOW YOU LIKED IT PLEASE! tell me what jokes and puns you liked! i am open for suggestions, so if you ask me to do something i will! Sorry about the spellling or grammer mistakes guys, but its perfect writing or long update times... you choose.**_


	7. Chapter 7 The End of a Game

**Truth or dare with Eragon **

**Chapter Seven: The race  
**

**This chapter is rated T for mild sexual content.**

"Angela truth or dare?" Eragon asked.

"I pick truth!" Angela said, "Bad things happen when we pick dare!"

"Good..." Eragon said evilly, "Veeerrryyy goooooood..."

There was a sudden mummer of worried muttering in the back round as everyone imagined what evil thing Eragon was planning."

"Well Angela, tell me the truth..." Eragon said pausing dramatically.

"About what?" Angela asked nervously.

"Tell me... were you the one who dropped the snake in Nasuda's tent last year?" Eragon asked.

"Well..." Angela said, "That was very funny... Nasuda screamed like a crazed woman all morning..."

"But did you do it?" Nasuda asked coldly.

"Yes I did..." Angela said looking down, "It was a dare... Saphira made me do it..."

There was a uproar as Nasuda lunged at Angela trying to kill her like a mad woman.  
"I KNEW IT WAS YOU!" Nasuda screamed.

Arya and Murtagh both face palmed simultaneously, as Eragon broke up the fight. When everyone was calmed down again Orik coughed loudly.

"Well everyone, I must admit this was a very amusing night... BUT, I grow tired and I think it's about time we ended this game." Orik said while yawning.

"I agree." Arya said shooting Eragon a glance, "I think Eragon is tired too..."

"YOU BET I'M REEEEAAALLLY TIRED!" Eragon said sounding very excited, "LET'S ALL GO TO BED RIGHT NOW!"

"Your just going to bed so you can go have children with Arya!" Murtagh said, "I think we should do one last thing before we all go off to make children... I mean...umm... sleep...pleasurably... yeah..."

Nasuda giggled at Murtagh, and soon everyone else joined in until Murtagh was as red as his dragon.

"What I'm not the only one who was thinking it!" Murtagh said still blushing, "Lets just get this done ok?"

Everyone continued to laugh at Murtagh for a little while longer, but soon they were all calmed down again.

"OK everyone, I havn't done this since the king was dead, but it sure is fun!' Murtagh said desperately trying to change the subject. "This game is called crazed dragon race!"

Everyone looked at Murtagh with confused looks plastered onto their faces. Eridor and Saphira were looking at each other wearing quizzical expressions. Thorn looked excited about it, and everyone new that only very bad things got him excited.

"Well... we each get on top of our dragon and line up in the middle of the city." Murtagh started, "We hook a small kart onto the back of each dragon, and put someone in. That person is your tail gunner. He tail gunner tries to slow the other dragons down as we race through the city! does that make sense?"

Everyone thought about it for about five seconds before whooping and screaming their approval.

"I call Orik to be my tail gunner!" Eragon shouted.

"Angela is my gunner!" Arya said high fiveing her.

"Then Nasuda is mine!" Murtagh said, "Lets go get the karts and we can race!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Three dragons were lined up in the center of the city. Riding Spahira was Eragon. Eragon was still shirtless, and he looked very anxious. Orik was sitting cross legged inside of the kart hooked up behind Saphira holding up a flag that said "FOSTER BRO'S ALL THE WAY!"

Riding Eridor was Arya. Arya was wearing tight black leather and a racing helmet Angela had somehow found, and also holding up a flag that said "The green machine... Angela herself was sitting in her custom made dye cast steel convertible extra luxury super awesome epic made kart with a mounted bow on the back.

Last of all came Murtagh, Thorn, and Nasuda. Murtagh was sitting atop Thorn with his arms crossed and a determined smile spread across his face. Nasuda was in the back sitting in a giant kart that only Thorn was strong enough to pull. She was wearing face paint, camouflage, and holding a mean looking boom box. She was holding up a long banner that read, "The Lady blah blah fans!" written on it.

Hundreds of dedicated fans stood on the side lines, and many of them were wearing their team colors. King Roran and Queen Katrina were also present, and they received the tremendous honor of starting the race. However Roran didn't look like he was going to start any time soon.

"Start the race Roran!" Eragon shouted.

"Yeah whats wrong?" Anglea called.

"I will only start once our good queen Katrina stops looking at Eragons chest!" Roran shouted sounding offended, "Everyone knows She's only supposed to look at my chest!"

everything grew silent as those words contaminated the air around the city. The crowd stopped hooting, and the dragons were unsuccessfully trying to hold back their deep laughter. All eyes were turned on Roran as Katrina slapped him and then blew the whistle that would start the race.

The crowd broke into cheering again, and Roran turned as red as a tomato as the race began.

_**AN: YAY MY VERY FIRST COMEDY FANFIC! I NEED 10 REVIEWS FOR CHAPTER seven PEEPS! TELL ME WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF IT ! I had some funny ideas to vent and this is the result! I wrote this entire chapter in half an hour, so expect fast update times! TELL ME HOW YOU LIKED IT PLEASE! tell me what jokes and puns you liked! i am open for suggestions, so if you ask me to do something i will! Sorry about the spellling or grammer mistakes guys, but its perfect writing or long update times... you choose.**_

_**As you can tell by now, my update times are the slowest they have ever been. This is why. I am really busy at school, and i'm starting to get bored of fanfiction all together. I'M NOT EVEN READING IT ON A DAILY BASIS NOW! I think this is becasue I'm not getting enought support. I really do like writing this stuff for you guys, but I won't do it if no one reads it. whats the point in that? The whole reason I write fanfciton in becasue I'm to shy to ask my crush out. I vent my romantic feelings for her here in my stories instead. but whats the point in venting you feelings if no one listens to them? This is my problem. So, if you guys want a sequel truth or dare fic, and the last chapter you really better start reviewing a LOT! **_

_**PS: i hope i didn't sound to desperate there... just so you know im not a loner, im rather popular at school. I'm just to shy :( **_

_**Also... to that one friend of mine that reads this... please don't rub it in OK... i'm not telling you who it is!... tis my secret... lol**_

_**Oh yeah... some of you people are asking me how i write such funny stories. Well i will tell you. I watched spongebob on a daily basis when i was a kid. that show is jsut awesome. It takes me about half an hour to write each one of these chapters, and i wold write them more often, but i literally never have a moment to spare...  
**_


	8. Chapter 8 The Power of a Boom Box

**Truth or Dare with Eragon**

**Chapter 8**

**This Chapter is rated K+ for mild but enjoyable violence.**

**Just so you know... This chapter will be WAY better if you listen to the song 'Boombox' before you read it. So what are you waiting for! go and look it up on youtube!  
**

Thorn immediately took the lead. He was the strongest out of the three dragons, but also unfortunately the largest also. He plowed through street vendors, cabbage merchants, and rich noble men like a boat pushing water aside on a river as he made his way to the finish line.

Behind him, Saphira and Eridor were running madly trying to run faster then the other. Saphira took long graceful strides, while Eridor took big stomps that made the ground shake.

Nasuda looked out the back of her cart with a small telescope while hiding under a fake bush. She could clearly see Eridor stomping around trying to impress Saphira, while Eragon and Arya just tried to hang on for dear life.

She also saw that Orik was on the cart behind Saphira trying to stop Angela from throwing banana peels at Saphira's feet.

_All we need is a little distraction..._ Nasuda thought to herself evilly.

She quickly made herself busy by looking through her medieval CD collection inside her bag. Quickly flipping through the endless copies of lady blah blah albums, looking for the CD called 'Ricky's Roll.' Soon she would exactly hat she had been looking for.

"Murtagh!" Nasuda called up, "Is it time for phase one?"

"Go for phase one!" Murtagh replied.

Nasuda threw Murtagh a pair of ear muffs, and then put on her own pair. Then she inserted the disk.

Nasuda had never truly listened to this song herself. When she was in Surda leading the Varden, she went on a shopping spree like most teenage girls did. While she was looking for some new perfume, she stumbled upon a curious street called 'The Dark Alley Where You Buy Evil Things'. Thinking that she might find something useful, She walked over to it. Before she was even a meter in, she was approached by an old lady who offered to sell her "An evil song from another dimension." After spending all of the Vardens savings on it, she promptly forgot about it, and also conveniently forgot about how the varden had lost all it's money.

Well now, she decided that it was the time to use it. She hit the play button, and all hell broke lose. Again.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Nasuda watched in horror as the music took it's toll. A large mushroom cloud covered the city, and covered everything in ash. Everyone within one-hundred feet of the boom box screamed in pain as their ears caught on fire. Arya and Eragon were out of that range, but the effect was terrible on them too. She could their elf ears turn red and their faces contort in pure misery of the terrible music. The Saphira and Eridor shot fire thought their mouths, and several buildings caught on fire.

Nasuda watched as the dragons steadily lost ground, and soon disappeared from site. When she decided that they were a safe distance away she stopped the music and took her earmuffs off.

She Tried to get Murtagh to take his ear muffs off too, but he couldn't hear her. Nasuda just shrugged and returned to watching through her telescope.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Eragon and Arya sighed with relief as the evil sounds faded from Nasudas boom box. Arya was in the lead, and she pulled up in front of Saphira, and didn't allow her to make any advances. Angela took advantage of the situation and started firing with her mounted bow. On each bolt she attacked a banana, which she then fired at Saphira's feet.

After a few minuets, one of Angela's shots landed right under Saphira's great scaly foot. She slipped on it and started to swerve from side to side destroying buildings and running ear burnt people over.

"I thought I told you that drunk driving was illegal Eragon!" Angelina called tauntingly.

"That doesn't even make sense!" Eragon called back.

"Well you remember it now!" She shouted, "And never forget the power of bananas!"

With that, Angela fired another banana arrow under Saphira's foot again. This time Saphira flipped over and landed on a building destroying Orik's cart, and most of Eragon.

Arya and Angelina hooted with joy and sped on trying to catch up with the lady blah blah team.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Nasuda woke up in the back of the cart. She yawned and stretched casually as she tried to remember how she ended up in a cart behind and dragon racing through a burning city under a mushroom cloud.

She thought about it for a while, and then gave up. She looked around, and had developed the feeling that something wasn't right. First she realized that she wasn't wearing socks. Then After a quick look at her magic digital watch she realized that it was four o'clock. Four o'clock in the morning. Only then did she remember that she was in a dragon race. Still something didn't feel right. She thought about it for a while, and then she remembered again. The race had started at eleven o'clock yesterday night. That meant that they had been racing for a long time. Nasuda struggled to figure out how long they had been racing, but gave up after a few minuets. All she new was that they had been racing for _far_ to long.

"Murtagh!" She called, "Where are we? Did we win the race?"

Murtagh ignored her, and kept going about his business as if he hadn't heard her.

_Oh no he didn't!_ She thought angrily.

Nasuda jumped off the cart and onto Thorn. from there she climbed up onto Thorn's saddle, and realized that Murtagh still had his ear muffs on.

She quickly pulled them off and yelled in his ear.

"MURTAGH STOP!"

Murtagh stopped thorn abruptly and looked at Nasuda with bloodshot eyes and parched lips. He looked at her dumbly for a while and then collapsed into the saddle. Moments late Thorn followed in his riders example.

Nasuda cursed her luck and rummaged around the saddle bags. Soon she found what she needed. That was of course instant coffee. Nasuda found and random wine skin and poured the black powder into it. She then shook it around and stuck it in Murtagh's mouth. When he was done drinking, she jumped down and put some more coffee into Thorns mouth. Nasuda then barley had time to jump back into the saddle before the coffee took it's toll. Three seconds later Murtagh eyes opened. He looked at Nasuda with his bloodshot eyes, and began to giggle uncontrollably. Thorn then started to twitch and spasm faster then then the fastest elf.

Before Nasuda could say anything, Murtagh, whipped Thorns reigns and blasted off. Nasuda clung on for dear life as they blasted towards the finish line.

**AN: HEY PEOPLE I'M BACK! After taking a long relaxing vacation from fanficiton (about 3 months...) I decided to return today. Turns out that almost my entire account was reset due to my inactivity. :(**

**I am going to finish this story. I'm not certain if I'm going to continue ALL my stories, becasue I have like five, and it's just a bit to much for me to handle right now. So, I'm going to try to finish them all off one at a time. first I'll finish this, and from there... well i'll see... it all depends on if people read my story. I don't write for myself anymore... I WRITE FOR YOU!**

**However, that also means that if nobody reads this I will not continue this story.**

**Also, a big apology to my fans. I kind of left you guys to dye when I left, and I'm really sorry. If I ever leave again I will tell you now! **

**As always I take constructive criticism and ideas, just don't make it tooo harsh... Oh yeah, whoever posted that comment who was pretending to be my wife... well... I thought that was EPIC! I was LOLLING over that, good job!**

**_'YOU HAVE TO KNOW YOUR LIMITS WITH A BOOMBOX!"_**


	9. Chapter 9 It's Raining Dragons!

**Truth or Dare With Eragon**

**Chapter 9**

**This chapter is rated T for references to things of... sexual nature. :D**

Eragon emerged from a hotel with a satisfied grin on his face. He already saw Orik and Angela talking in the middle of the smoldering street, so he strutted over to them with a sense of accomplishment.

"Hey guys! Guess what I did last night?" He asked proudly.

"What did you do Eragon?" Orik replied in a rather bored voice.

"Well I-"

Eragon was interrupted by Angela as she hopped around and raised her hand.

"Let me guess! Let me guess!" She called frantically. Eragon frowned slightly, but nodded and allowed her to guess.

Angela proceeded to call out various guesses to Eragons question in a rather mocking tone. Each time Eragon became more and more confused.

"You rode an angry gorilla from earth! Did you learn how to fly? Did you become a foreign diplomat for the num-num people from planet 3 in the fourth dimension? Did you defeat the giant monkey man from the eight dimension?"

Eragon abruptly stopped her as he realized that she was mocking him.

"Why are you making fun of me?" Eragon said in a rather childish tone. "I'm a real man now!"

"Well of course you are Eragon..." Orik said chuckling.

"Well then I will tell you what I did last night" Eragon said. "I made love with Arya!"

This brought bubbling laughter from both of them.

"Of course you did Eragon!" Orik called, "We could hear you from down the road! You might want to close the window next time you make children lad!"

"Yeah" Angela joined in, "And we just told everyone in the entire city! we even told the queen! she looked very mad!"

Eragon grew red with embarrassment, and he looked at the ground. Orik and Angela continued to laugh. Soon, Eragon grew frustrated, and told them to be quite.

"SHUT UP! I made love with her! It's the most important thing I've ever done, stop making fun of me!" He wined.

"Eragon!" Angela chocked out in between fits of laughter,"How could you make love with her?" She gasped again, "Shes the dominant force in your relationship! She made love with you!"

"NOOO SHE IS NOT!" Eragon yelled, "I'M THE MAN AROUND HERE!"

"The day that happens is the day that giant dragons fall from the sky!" Orik said jokingly.

The bad joke made everyone hushed everyone, and made them stare at Orik.

"Leave the jokes to me dwarf man." Angela said with a stern expression.

"I'm good at jokes too!" Orik insisted, "See it was funny because there are not that many dragons, and when they start falling from the sky the-"

Orik was cut off as a giant red dragon fell from the sky and crushed Eragon. Both Orik and Angela watched in awe as Murtagh stumbled off his dragon and promptly collapsed onto the ground alongside his dragon.

"You should really leave the jokes to me Orik." Angela said, "They tend to get people hurt or killed."

"Aye" Orik said, "perhaps you are right."

The pair slowly crept around the sleeping dragon, and found Nasuda sprawled on top of the remains of her kart.

"Whet hippned?" Nasuda asked groggily.

"I was about to ask all of you the same question..." Arya said appearing out of nowhere, "And where is Eragon?"

"How de evles do that?" Nasuda said trying to get to her feet, "Theys alwaay apearin' outa nowhereeeeee!"

"Ha, maybe if all elves were as loud as she and Eragon were last night, we could find them!" Orik replied.

Arya balled her hands into fists, and glared at him angrily.

"Are you trying to say something?" Arya asked dangerously.

Instead of replying, Orik ran down the street as fast as his small frame could carry him.

"I thought so!" Arya shouted after him.

"Those jokes are really going to get him killed one day..." Angela muttered.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I don't feel very well..." Nasuda said as she fell stumbled around.

"Well I don't care!" Arya said, "Tell me where Eragon is!"

"aidonksssssss!" Came a reply from under Thorn.

"Ah yes..." Angela remembered, "He was telling us about his... Activities last night, and well... he was kind of crushed under that giant red dragon."

"Did Orik have anything to do with this?" Arya asked.

"No he did not." Angela lied.

"Nooooo nooooo noooooom" Nasuda interrupted, "Thete was murtys fault!"

"We's stopped movin' in the middle off the rece, and I gorve murty and the thron bush some instintal' ceffe, and then theys was alls like zooom! and I was allls lik' oh no he din't!" Nasuda slurred.

"What is wrong with her?" Arya asked.  
"She has what is called a 'hang over' It's a terrible disease that affects humans... and besides that, it's not every day that you fall out of the sky on a dragon kart." Angela replied, "But I think what she said is translates into... 'I gave Murtagh and Thorn some instant coffe and they went zoom..."

Arya nodded, and then tried to wake Thorn up so that she could ask him to get off her new mate. However both Murtagh and Thorn were passed out, and not waking.

"hhhhhhhhhkkkkkklep!" Came a muffled scream from Eragon.

Arya ran back over to Nasuda and asked her more questions.

"What kind of coffee did you give them?" Arya asked, "How did you make it! HURRY UP MY NEW MAN IS BEING CRUSHED!"

"Wellls..." Nasuda started, "I mixed some of this here waters' with some of these her black coffee poweder, and poof! there was ceffee!" Nasuda said pointing at a wineskin and a instant coffee mix bottle.

Arya picked up the wineskin and sniffed the contents.

"THIS ISN'T WATER! THIS IS MEAD!" Arya shouted.

"THAT MEANS THAT THEY WERE DRINKING COFFEE MEAD!" Angela said catching on.

"OMG WHAT DOE WE DEEEEEEOOOOOOO!" Nasuda screamed, "WHY ARE WE Y'ALL SCREAMIN'? DID SOMEBEDE DIE? DID I G-"

Arya shut Nasuda up with a quick punch tot he head, which effectively knocked her unconscious. Many people from around the city had heard the yelling, and came over with popcorn and comfy chairs to watch the new drama unfolding before their very eyes. Arya ignored them and turned to Angela.

"Quick Angela make a magic witchcraft healing potion thing to wake up Murtagh and Thorn!" Arya said urgently, "My mate is down there!"

Angela quickly nodded and ran down the street. She shattered the display window of a drug store, and pulled out all of the things that she would need.

"HEY!" the store owner yelled, "You could have just used the door! It was open! Now you need to pay for tha-'

The man stopped yelling as Arya stop a arrow through his head. Many people in the crowd hooted and cheered for this exciting new form of public violence. Some people even started a wave, and everyone shouted, "Go team Angela!" As she ran back to Arya and started making the miracle cure potion.

One man was stupid enough to root for the other team, and the moment her yelled "Go team Murtagh and Thorn" He also received an arrow through the head.

Everyone held their breath as Angela got closer to finishing the potion._ Would Eragon die? Would he be alright? Would Arya take her shirt off in public again? All these thoughts buzzed around the spectators minds as they watched the scene before them._

**_HAHAHAHAH! I have left you with suspense have I not? for the next chapter, I will need 10 reviews. Yes that is right random person I am talking to you. I see you. right now. Through this electronic magic mirror that humans call screens. And now that I see you, I WANT YOU TO REVIEW!_**

**_AN: lol, so enough of that. There will be one more chapter in this story, but just so you guys know, I will not make a sequel for a while. first I want to finish my other stories before the fourth book comes out. (fall of this year I believe...) but anyway, just so you all know that..._**  
**_but anyway, like I said above, I want 10 reviews for the next chapter. Thats not a lot considering that about 300 of you read each chapter, and that this story already has over 100 reviews. _**

**_And as for those of you that were confused about Nasuda's behavior at the end of the last chapter, well, if you haven't figured it out yet, she had a 'hang over'. _**

_**Peace out homies!**_

_**you be trollin'  
**_


	10. Chapter 10 A Dramatic Ending

**Truth or dare With Eragon**

**Chapter 10 (last chapter)**

**This chapter is rated: T for references to things of sexual nature. **

Everyone held their breath as Angela poured a purple liquid into a flask. Arya carefully took it from her and handed it to Nasuda.

"Whats tis this?" Nasuda asked sounding confused.

"It's a test potion." Angela replied, "We were planning on using you as the test dummy, because Murtagh and Thorn are far more important than you..."

"Sounds fiiine too meee!" Nasuda squealed while quickly downing the cup.

Arya, Angela, and the rest of the crowd watched silently waiting for something to happen. Nasuda looked at them in return, and with no visible changes.

"Heeeeyy Aray and Angilinia! I don't thinks this is sooda! I don't fe-"

Nasuda paused abruptly, and then made a loud gurgling sound while clutching her stomach. She looked out at the crowd one last time, and then collapsed into the ground.

Arya was about to rush to her aid, but Angela held her back.

"That was just the nervous reaction! EVERYBODY GET DOWN!" She shouted.

Everyone in the city new that when a witch told you to 'get down' it was wise to listen. People all over ran as fast as they could to the nearest hiding spot or bomb raid shelter. One man started selling tickets for hiding spots in his home for 10,000 gold pieces each. He already had several customers before Arya shot the entrepreneur through the head.

"Humans and their gold... " Arya muttered.

Angela and Arya peeped out from behind Thorns massive body. Nasuda was squirming about on the ground and hyperventilating. Then the action began. Arya and Angela both ducked as bright lights and loud explosions shocked the ground. A dramatic lightning storm and tornado appeared overhead, and several minstrels started placing the 'Jaws' theme song on various medieval instruments from down the street. Arya thought about shooting them, but then decided against it. The music really did add to the show.

"WHATS GOING ON!" Arya shouted over the wind.

"THE EVIL ALCOHOL IS BEING PURGED FROM HER SYSTEM!" Angela responded, "IT SHOULD BE DONE SOON!"

Arya and Angela both held on to the giant red dragon as the ground shook. The tornado became more and more powerful, and it started sucking things up.

_Were all going to die!_ Arya thought helplessly.

"YARGAFLARGAAAAAAaaaaaa!" Eragons muffled scream came from under Thorn.

Then, as quickly as it had started, it ended. The tornado disappeared, the ground stopped shaking, the lights stopped flashing, and the minstrels stopped playing dramatic music.

Arya slowly tip toed out from her hiding and looked for Nasuda, but couldn't find her anywhere.

"Angela! Nasuda is gone!" Arya yelled back to Angela.

"What could happened? Nasuda should be right here!" Angela said sounding exasperated, "What did I do wrong?"

_YOU MADE NOISE!_ Saphira thundered from somewhere.

"Where is she?" Angela asked searching the sky. The crowd slowly started to reamerge, and one by one they started to look up into the sky.

"Look everyone!" a Minstrel shouted, "It's a bird!"

"No it's a plane!" Someone else shouted.

"No!" Angela shouted, "No, it's superman! there aren't any planes in Alagaësia!"

"No all of you!" Arya yelled pointing at the sky, "It's Saphira!"

_No it's not. _Saphira grumbled appearing next to Arya_, I'm right next to you. Why is everyone staring at the sky?_

Arya and Angela both wirled around in a blur, and saw Saphira standing next to them.

"We were just... um... looking for you!" Arya said.

_Well you didn't have to look far! I was minding myself sleeping with Eridor, and I was rather tired after last nights activities... we were up very late you know, and then you two make all this noise and wake me up! _Saphira grumbled._  
_

_I see..._ Arya thought while blushing, _Did you enjoy yourself with Eridor?_

_We can have a nice female to female chat later Arya, as of right now, I believe my rider is being crushed under Thorn._

"Yes, well it seems that we have a bit of a problem..." Angela said interupting the conversation, "We were going to test out my new potion on Nasuda, but it appears she has disappeared... do you have anything to do with that?"

_Well, when you two made the potion, all of this terrible noise started... I woke up, and tried to find the off switch from Eragons alarm clock thing, but then I realized that he wasn't here, and that the alarm clock wasn't there either... and then Eridor woke up, so I had to put his back to sleep, and then-_

_Saphira! please get to the point!_ Arya mentally screamed.

Saphira roared at Arya, but then calmed down.

_Well, I found Nasuda leaning against Thorn watching the lightning storm and the tornado with crossed eyes, and a rather confused look on her face, and because it seemed like the noise was revolving around her, I used my dragon magic to transport her away._ Sapphira finished with a yawn.

"Where did you send her! We need to find out if the potion works!" Angela cried.

_Oh don't worry about your silly little potion, I can wake up Thorn..._ Saphira said with a chuckle.

Saphira casually strode over to Thorn, and licked him on the snout. He instantly awakened, and lifted his head.

_Where am I? Who are these random people? Why did Saphira lick me?_ He asked angrily.

"How did you do it?" Arya asked in awe.

_It's just my female touch Arya..._ Saphira with a wink, _now lets go see whats left of Eragon..._

_Umm... Thorn could you please get of my mate?_ Arya asked as gently as she could.

_Very well small one..._ Thorn muttered.

Thorn lifted his giant bulk off of the ground, and repositioned himself in a comfortable spot near Murtagh. Arya, Saphira, and Angela all hurried over, and looked down into the crater that Thorn had created with his impact.

"Eragon are you down there?" Arya called.

_Of course he is, I've been mentally communicating with him the whole time! The waiter was right, Sometimes you really are a 'stupid elf'_ Saphira said.

Arya slapped herself on the head as she realized what a _'stupid elf'_ she really was. She quickly closed her eyes and searched for Eragons mind. After several minuets, she found it, and she reached out with her mind and connected to him.

_Eragon! Where are you?_

_I'm right next to you... you really aren't as self aware as you used to be are you?  
_

Arya opened her eyes to find that Saphira had already dug Eragon out. He was busy wiping little pieces of rubble and dirt off of his tunic.

Arya happily hugged him, and by doing so covered herself with dust. She was about to lean in for a kiss when she was interrupted by Angela.

"Umm Arya... I think you should see this..." She said quietly.

"What is it Angela can you see I'm trying to make out?" She asked in a annoyed voice.

"Well, look for yourself!" the witch crackled.

Nasuda was angrily storming down the street covered in ashes. She looked at them all with a hateful voice, and started to yell at them.

"I BET YOU ALL THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY TO STICK ME UP A CHIMNEY DIDN'T YOU!" She shouted, "I JUST WOKE UP RIGHT NOW WITH NO MEMORIES OF THE ENTIRE MORNING IN A CHIMNEY! HOW DO YOU THINK THAT FEELS! MY SELF ASTEEM HAS BEEN RUINED FOREVER BY YOUR STUPID PRANKS! WHAT IF SOMEONE STARTED A FIRE IN THE CHIMNEY! DID YOU THINK OF THAT! NEXT TIM-"

Nasuda was interrupted by Eragon. "Nasuda we didn't do it! Saphira did it! right Saphira?"

Eragon waited for Saphira to say something, until he noticed that she wasn't there. Quickly turned around and saw her sneaking away with Thorn while licking him under his jaw.

_Saphira what are you doing! You can't hook up with Thorn! you just mated with Eridor last night! come back here! _Eragon mentaly shouted.

Saphira's deep laughter could be heard from down the street, and she coolly replied. _We dragons are like the elves Eragon, we don't choose a mate for life, and anyway, the more dragon babies the better!_

Eragon fell, and nearly fainted as he realized that his dragon was in the heat. Arya caught him just in time however, and she lifted him back to his feet.

"Don't worry Eragon, that kind of behavior is normal for dragons." Arya said reassuringly. She helped across the street bock towards the hotel.

Nasuda watched them go, and was about to yell something else until she felt something grip her leg.

"Ewwww!" She screamed, "Something just grabbed my leg!"

She proceeded to kick the leg snatching thing mercilessly until she looked down to see none other than Murtagh.

"Ohhhh... Murtagh why didn't you say something! I wouldn't have kicked you then! And besides, I think its sexy when you grab my leg, in fact-, it you wan-"

"Can you just help me up?" Murtagh groaned, "I feel like I have a hang over and a caffeine overdose at the same time..."

Nasuda blushed slightly, and helped Murtagh up to his feet, and they they also walked away.

Now Angela was the only one left in the street besides the crowd. She looked around awkwardly for a while, and then spoke to them.

"Alright guys! move along! no more dragons, death destruction, and evil music today!"

Everyone ignored her, and they just stat there in their comfy chairs waiting for something else to happen.

Angela was About to yell at them again until she heard someone running down the street towards her. She tried to jump out of the way, but Orik slammed into her, and sent the witch sprawling across the street. The crowd burst into applause and cheering. Orik bowed, and pulled a small scroll from his pocket. He was about to read it until Angela interrupted him.

"Orik what are you doing!"

"I'm just reading some jokes Angela!" Orik said defensively, "I figured the crowd might get bored now that everyone left, so I decided to read them some jokes..."

Orik stopped when he saw Angelas angry expression.

"I told you those jokes are dangerous!" She shouted, "Are you trying to kill these people?"

Orik looked at the ground and pouted. He even shed a few dwarf tears. Angela felt bad for him, so she walked closer, and put an arm on his shoulder.

"Don't worry Orik..." Angela said in a comforting voice, "I can take you to America... there plenty of funny people there! I'm sure we can find you a tutor of comedy! and we could use your jokes as weapons of mass destruction!"

Orik instantly lost his fake sad expression when he heard this. He watched eagerly as Angela took and handful of blue green dust from a pouch.

"Get ready Orik here we go!" She shouted.

She threw the dust down at the ground with a swift turn of her arm, and they exploded in a flash of green light as Orik yelled "WOOOOO! LIVIN' THE DREAM!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_**Epilogue **_

_The crowd started at the spot where Angela and Orik had been standing moments before. Nothing happened for a while, and a random tumbleweed blew down the street. They looked up and down the street in a synchronized movement, waiting for something to happen. Soon the terrible truth dawned on them. The show was over there weren't going to be anymore explosions, races, bar fights, hangovers, arrows through the head, or human torch waiters. _

_"Well that can't be it!" **SimplySupreme** shouted. "There has to be at least one more coffee mead expressooo!"_

_"Yeah!" **Alyss Mainwaring** joined in, "More hangovers!"_

_"This is it?" **Bookworm73** said in exactly three words._

_"I FREAKING WANT SOME MORE!" **AwesomeDude27** yelled, "CAUSE I'M SO FREAKING AWESOME! GRAWWWWR!"_

_**AryaFan1121** just laughed hysterically for no reason, and scared her sister. "HAHAHAHAHAHHAH!"_

_"I obliteration for more chapters!" **Obliterator1519** said angrily, while forcing people to sign a petition._

_"This day was so freaking bizarre!" **Restrained Freedom** said walking away._

_"OMG november 8th!" **Moonstar2015** yelled for no reason, "THAT'S MY BIRTHDAY!"_

_"I'm so freaking creeped out by my neighbor bob!" **DarknessBecomesMe** said to no one in particular. _

_"I must find 'X' !", **Writer of the North** said while she started walking North. _

_"Boom Box + Nasuada + Diagon Alley? = 'Friday' by Rebecca Black?" **MyLifeMyRules** calculated on a rather strange calculator._

_"At least Eragon got bedded..." **FlexManSteel** said. _

_"It was good while it lasted... I haven't laughted this hard all year!" **Eragontheone** said._

_"So that's why the taxes went up!" **XxWeixX** exclaimed as he was pulled away by tax collectors._

_And last of all,** all of the anonymous and other reviewers** / crowd yelled random things of their choice, as they all dispersed leaving the street abandoned with a large dark crater in the middle._

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX  
**

_**AN: Well? did I do a good job of closing my most successful story ever? (and the only one that I ever finished...) Well I hope I did! It took a long time, 2 boxes of extra large nerds, one coke, and lemonade, and 3,262 words. That's a grand total of $4.55! thats an expensive chapter! It was kind of awkward to close it up, but I gave you a little hint of what the sequel may be about. ;)**_

_**Epilogue Deal:**** Anyway... I hope you all like the little ****Epilogue ** that I included, I tried to name everyone that really supported this story, but I'm proud/ashamed that there were just to many of you to fit in the Epilogue. SO, if you want to be in it, just leave what you want to say in the reviews with the word EPILOGUE in all caps if you want to be included. (You can also edit/remove yours if you want) Then, I will copy paste your line into the story! (You are limited to 1 sentence. any epilogue sentence longer then one sentence will be shortened, or just not added.)_

_**New review deal: So, about the review deal. As of right now, I have no plans to begin the sequel of this story for about 4-6 months. That's how long I'm expecting it to take me to finish my other stories, (I made a new rule that I'm only doing one story at a time now, doing four stories at once is way to stressful...) BUT, if I get a grand total of 200 reviews within the next 4-6 months, I WILL START THE NEW STORY INSTANTLY AND BREAK MY NEW RULE! (I'm very bad at keeping goals and secrets... lol) There are already 126 reviews out there, so you only need to write 74 reviews! ('only' lol) SO START SHOWIN' THIS TO YOUR FRIENDS! so they will show their friends, and their friends, and their friends, and so on. :)  
**_

_**I will not except more than 1 review per a person. I can tell when one person leaves a long string on antonymous reviews. But if you do decide to do that, at least try to make it convincing. or so funny that I break my rule. :)**_

_**Touching Thank You: Well, guys, on a last touching note, I want you to all know that I'm really glad for your support. Before I came to , I never thought I could be a writer. I **_

_**hated writing of any kind, and only liked to read. Well look at me now. I have written 5 stories now, and each one has been viewed at least a thousand times. A person who **_

_**thought he was a terrible writer got over 100 reviews, tons of support, dedicated fans, and over 700 vistors, and 3000 hits views in this story. It's truly been a life changing **_

_**experience, as I'venever really been able to convey thoughts and emotions as clearly as I can now. So instead of you thanking me for all my hard work, hours typing spent **_

_**hunched over a computer, I want to thank you. The people. The people that I never met in person, never saw, and in some cases don't even know your gender. You guys made**_

_** it possible for me to do something I could have never imagined possible. You brought out the new me. And I will never truly be able to thank you enough. The people here on **_

_**Fanfiction are truly some of the most imaginative, funny, perverted, hateful, happy, peaceful, and downright strange people I've even met. And I believe that's what makes us **_

_**all great. we are all different people expanding on new thoughts and ideas in new ways that others could have never thought of. Any I consider all of my fans out there to be **_

_**my friends. even though I may never meet any of you face to face, I want you all to know, that one guy on this earth, sitting on a sofa, at 10:34 PM, eating Nerds candy, and **_

_**sipping lemonade, really appreciates what you did.**_

_**Anyway, to make a long story short, you guys are awesome. all of you. 'Peace Out' guys, this is done.**_

**THE END  
**


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